last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
