Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
