you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize