Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm like, not good at living.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
