Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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