Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
my being single is dangerous.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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