dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
you will always have a special place in my vag
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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