Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
