DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
