So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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