I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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