Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
