party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
