shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
