i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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