I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
