? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
