i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
