yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
