Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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