im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize