I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
