then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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