NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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