therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
