You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he puts the penis in happiness.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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