I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
