he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You made out with two different species that night
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
