Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Randomize
