I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
