I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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