If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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