Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
