well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize