Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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