he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
