whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
