i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize