I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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