Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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