cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
