Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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