Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
