i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
