My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
