What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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