We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Don't tell me you're on acid again
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize