Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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