Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
