just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize