I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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