There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
