That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
