I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
