i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
