I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
