i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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