Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
