ugly people sure do ruin things
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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