Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
