yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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