I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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