I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
