glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
