spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
