Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
