I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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