my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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