He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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