Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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