Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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